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4 Scripts for Changing the Screen Time Rules in Your Home

Inspired by a podcast conversation with Michaeleen Doucleff, author of Dopamine Kids - and the words you can actually say out loud

Dr Becky Kennedy

Dr Becky Kennedy, Clinical Psychologist

3 min read

Is It Okay to Show Emotions in Front of Kids?

Introduction

I recently sat down with Michaeleen Doucleff, author of Dopamine Kids, and one thing she said stuck with me: screens are like magnets. The more visible they are, the stronger the pull. It’s not a willpower problem. It’s a design problem.

So if you’ve decided something needs to change with screens in your house, the hardest part isn’t the decision. It’s finding the words. It’s looking at your kid and saying something that you know will lead to protest or whining or complaints of boredom (or all three).

That’s what these scripts are for. And I want to be clear about something: there’s nothing magical about these exact words. Scripts are never the full answer. I think about them as door openers. Making a new decision is like walking into a new room; that can feel intimidating, and sometimes what can help is if someone opens the door a crack for us - and then we can figure out some of the next steps on our own. Use these if they help you feel empowered to start a conversation you’ve been wanting to have. And then let us know how it goes!

Script 1: “We’re Changing the Screen Time Rules”

This is the announcement. The sit-down. And it works best when it’s short, honest, and warm - not apologetic. You’re not asking permission. You’re not opening a negotiation. You’re leading your family.

WHAT TO SAY

“Hey, I want to talk to you about something. I’ve been learning more about how screens affect kids’ brains - and honestly, how they affect my brain too. And I’ve realized that the way we’ve been doing screen time isn’t working for our family.

So we’re going to make some changes. This isn’t a punishment. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is me doing my job as your parent - which is to make decisions I believe are good for you long-term and to set up our home in a way that’s good for all of us.

Starting [day], here’s how it’s going to work: [insert your new plan — e.g., screens only on weekends, only after dinner, only for 30 minutes, etc.].

I know this is different. I know you might be upset. That’s okay. I can handle that. And I’m not going to change my mind because you’re upset.”

WHY THIS WORKS

You’re naming the change clearly, taking ownership of the decision, and separating your child’s feelings from your resolve. The line “I can handle that” tells your child: your big feelings won’t knock me over. That’s safety.

Script 2: “We’re Putting Screens Out of Sight”

This is the magnets idea from Dopamine Kids in action. Michaeleen talks about how the physical presence of a device activates craving - even when it’s turned off. So the move here isn’t just about limiting time. It’s about reducing the pull by getting devices out of the environment entirely, except during designated screen time.

WHAT TO SAY

“We’re going to try something new. When it’s not screen time, the iPads are going to live in [a closet / a drawer / a specific spot out of sight]. Not because they’re bad. But because I’ve learned that when screens are out where we can see them, our brains keep thinking about them - even when we’re doing other things.

It’s kind of like how if someone put a plate of cookies on the table in front of you, you’d keep thinking about them, right? It’s not because you’re weak. It’s because that’s how brains work. So we’re just going to move the cookies off the table.

When it’s screen time, we’ll take them out. When it’s over, they’ll go back. That’s it.”

WHY THIS WORKS

The cookie analogy works because it externalizes the struggle. Your child doesn’t have to feel ashamed of wanting screens. You’re essentially saying: this is a human brain thing, not a you thing. That reframe is everything.

Script 3: “I’m Bored. There’s Nothing to Do.”

This one comes after the rules change. And it’s going to come a lot. The instinct is to fix it - to offer activities, suggest games, set something up. At Good Inside, we believe that boredom is the doorway to self-directed play. Your kid needs to walk through it. If we take away the boredom, we take away the space kids need to figure some things out on their own.

WHAT TO SAY

“I hear you. It does feel boring right now. And honestly, I don’t like that feeling either. But here’s the thing: I know you’re the kind of kid who can figure out what to do with your time.

Often, boredom is just… the feeling right before a good idea shows up.”

IF THEY KEEP PUSHING FOR SCREENS DURING A DESIGNATED NON-SCREEN TIME MOMENT

“I know. I know it’s hard. I believe you. Screens aren’t an option right now. You’ve got this.”

IN A CALM MOMENT

“You know what I was thinking about? Coming up with a short list of things you can do when boredom hits. Sometimes it’s helpful to come up with a list in a calm moment so you can reference it in a bored moment.”

WHY THIS WORKS

You’re not dismissing their experience. You’re validating the feeling while holding the boundary. The line “I know you’re the kind of kid who can figure this out” is identity-building. It tells your child who you see them as, which is one of the most powerful things a parent can do.

Script 4: The Protest. The Tantrum. The Meltdown.

This is the moment most parents dread. And the moment most parents cave. Your kid is sobbing, screaming, telling you you’re the worst, telling you everyone else gets to watch. And every cell in your body wants to make it stop.

Here’s what I want you to know: the tantrum is not a sign that you made the wrong decision. It’s a sign that the old pattern is breaking. And breaking patterns doesn’t feel good - for anyone.

IN THE MOMENT

“I get it. You really, really want screen time right now. I know.

And the answer is no. Not right now.

I’m not going to yell at you for being upset. I’m also not going to change my mind. Both of those things are true.”

AFTER THE STORM PASSES

“Earlier today, that was really hard, I know. You wanted something and you couldn’t have it. I hate that too. And we got through it together. We always will.”

WHY THIS WORKS

This is classic Good Inside: two things are true. Your child’s feelings are valid AND your boundary stays. You’re not punishing the protest, and you’re not rewarding it either. You’re just… there. Sturdy. And over time, that sturdiness becomes the thing your child can count on.

Now, Let’s Talk About the Strong-Willed Kid

If you read those scripts and thought, “That’s great, but you don’t know my kid” - I hear you. Because some kids don’t just push back. They push back harder. They escalate longer. They seem completely unmoved by your disappointment, your anger, or your consequences. And that can make you feel like nothing works.

Here’s what I want you to know: strong-willed kids aren’t broken. They’re actually wired with some of the qualities we most admire in adults - persistence, conviction, a deep sense of self. The challenge is that those qualities, in childhood, look a lot like defiance. And they require a very specific kind of parenting to channel well.

This is exactly what we go deep on inside the Good Inside App. Not just scripts but the frameworks behind them (after all, it’s all these scripts without frameworks that make parents more anxious!). How to hold a boundary with a kid who will test it seventeen times. How to stay regulated when your child’s dysregulation is designed to pull you in. How to build the kind of relationship where your strong-willed kid actually wants to cooperate, even when it’s hard.

You’ll get workshops if that’s your kind of thing or short three-minute videos if that’s what fits in your life, expert guidance, and a community of real, human (!) parents who get it - because they’re in it too. If you’re ready to go beyond the scripts, we’re here.

Listen to the full episode with Michaeleen Doucleff [link to podcast episode] and explore her book Dopamine Kids for more on the magnets framework and the research behind it.

Ready for more support? Good Inside is here to help

Want to know exactly what to do next? Looking for more scripts and strategies to talk about emotions with your child? That’s exactly why we created Good Inside. 

As a Good Inside member, you’ll get exclusive access to:

  • On-demand support for emotional regulation
  • Daily, personalized scripts and strategies focused on your kid’s age and stage.
  • GiGi, the Good Inside chatbot, for 24/7 answers on whatever is going on in your home.
  • A private online community to connect with parents who get it in rooms dedicated to Neurodivergent Kids, School, and more.
  • Parent support sessions led by trained Good Inside coaches.
  • A library of scripts, strategies, and videos on all kinds of school challenges.
  • Plus so much more!

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